As a former high school band director and now a full-time music arranger and composer, I’ve spent most of my career immersed in the world of marching band shows. I’ve written them, taught them, rehearsed them, and lived through the emotional arcs of hundreds of students experiencing them for the first time.
These days, I’m also a dad—two young daughters, not yet in high school. So I haven’t worn the hat of “band parent” just yet. But I’ve walked with many families through the intense, inspiring, and sometimes uncomfortable journey that comes with the marching band experience. And here’s something I want every new parent to know:
The student who quits marching band is often the one who needed it the most.
Why Marching Band Shows Are Hard—And Why That’s a Good Thing
Marching band shows ask a lot of students—more than many realize at first. The early days can feel overwhelming. Your child might come home sore, sunburned, or mentally drained. They might feel out of place socially, unsure of how they fit in. They may even say they hate it.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong. In fact, it might mean something powerful is just beginning.
If your child has never done anything physical outdoors for extended periods, that initial soreness is real. If they’ve never had to be part of a tightly knit team where everyone counts on each other, it will feel foreign at first. If they’re more comfortable with solo activities or one-on-one interactions, the social environment of a marching band show may feel like a stretch.
And yet—these are exactly the reasons they should stay.
The Bigger Picture: What Marching Band Really Teaches
To outsiders, marching band shows may seem like just music and motion. But from the inside, they’re so much more. They’re structured opportunities to build discipline, accountability, time management, physical stamina, resilience, and social skills—all in one place.
Band directors see it firsthand: students start a season one way and finish it completely transformed.
Because here’s the truth—life will require these same skills. If a student never learns how to be punctual, follow through on commitments, communicate clearly with peers, or navigate tough moments with grace, those missing skills will show up later. Only then, the cost is higher.
Band gives students a low-risk environment to practice these high-value life lessons. That’s the beauty of the marching band show experience—it’s both a creative outlet and a training ground for life.
That Look on the Band Director’s Face
At some point, your child might come home and say, “I want to quit.” And when you tell the band director, you might notice a pause—or even a look of disappointment.
It’s not because we’re panicking about the halftime show. It’s not about losing a trumpet player or having to rewrite drill.
The band will be fine.
What that director is feeling is the weight of knowing just how much your child could grow from this experience—if only they stick with it.
They’ve seen it happen over and over again. They know how marching band shows stretch students in all the right ways. They know your child might be just one breakthrough away from discovering new confidence, friendships, or a sense of belonging they’ve never felt before.
Band Directors Don’t Just Want the Best Players
Here’s something many people don’t realize: band directors aren’t looking for perfect students. They’re looking for students who are ready to grow.
Sure, talent is great—but what directors value most are the students who show up willing to work, to struggle, to learn. Especially the ones who need it.
Every director I know has stories of students who started unsure and finished unrecognizable—in the best way. Marching band shows create a structure for that transformation. They take students from “I can’t” to “I did.”
That’s why we do it.
What I Hope You’ll Remember
As someone who’s spent years writing music for marching band shows and guiding students through their early struggles, I want to offer this to new parents: hang in there.
Let your child wrestle with the challenge. Encourage them through the discomfort. Trust the process, even when it’s messy.
Because what they’re learning isn’t just music. It’s how to be part of something bigger. It’s how to keep going when it’s hard. It’s how to show up for others—and for themselves.
Marching band shows aren’t just about the big Friday night performance. They’re about the slow, steady transformation of students into stronger, more capable human beings.
I haven’t yet had the chance to watch one of my own daughters in a marching band show. But I know—without a doubt—I’ll be encouraging her to stick with it when the time comes.
Final Thought
If you’re a new band parent navigating the early-season struggles, just remember: this isn’t the hard part. This is the meaningful part.
And your child? They might need this more than either of you realizes.
Looking for music ideas or inspiration for your next marching band season? Explore my catalog of original and custom marching band shows at evanvandoren.com/marchingbandshows.
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